The Curious Case of the Killer Turquoise Kitchen

19 Mar 2024

Dear Reader,

We’re celebrating World Storytelling Day at Sigma 3 Kitchens and, as such, we’ve written today’s blog post as a murder mystery. Based on true events, it addresses one of the many times we, as the world’s finest luxury kitchen manufacturer, created a kitchen so desirable that people would do anything to get it – even commit murder – and we had to call in Detective Kit Chen to save the day.

Answering a recent call, Detective Chen arrived after a family viewed a turquoise kitchen so captivating it changed their fate forever. Can Chen uncover what makes a turquoise kitchen design so fantastic people would kill for it? In doing so, can he save a life? Find out in the Curious Case of the Killer Turquoise Kitchen!

* * *

“Bolt the doors!” Detective Kit Chen ordered as he entered the Sigma 3 showroom. “Nobody leaves until we solve this mystery.” An attendant acquiesced as he marched through a beautiful Hawksmoor range. There, Chen greeted a brunette, fifty-something woman who was dabbing her eyes with a hanky. “Detective Kit Chen. And you’re the victim’s wife, I presume? Susan Walker. 50. From Oxford.”

“How did you…?” The woman lowered her handkerchief, astonished.

“Detective’s instinct, Madam. I know everything.” He gestured to a gentleman draped across a kitchen island – turquoise; a traditional model with a fresh twist. “Who’s this?”

“My husband Ralph,” Susan answered gravely. “The children and I,” she gestured to a young man and woman nearby perched on bar stools. “We found him in this marvellous kitchen. He’s been murdered, I swear! Cold blood! But I don’t know why. Not in this wonderful… blue kitchen? Green kitchen? Teal kitchen?”

“A turquoise kitchen,” Chen corrected her. “Beach House, to be specific. The island is a feat of Sigma 3 craftsmanship. Has anyone tracked down a brochure? I could show you.”

“Afraid not. It is wonderful, though,” said Susan. She glimpsed a slight scuff on the tiled flooring. “Almost perfect, except for this one blemish. But what can you expect? It’s a popular showroom.” Then, remembering her husband Ralph, she added. “Can you find his killer, Detective?”

“I’ll do my best, Mrs Walker. Now, let’s discuss the universal truths.”

Blue-Grey Kitchen Secrets

“First and foremost, this was no accident. The walkways are spacious, the kitchen triangle is in place and the cabinet doors all feature soft-close functionality. As with all Sigma 3 kitchens, it has solid kitchen design principles. Safety is baked into the layout.” Breezing around the island, Chen inspected Ralph’s body, zeroing in on his right shoe. “Loose sole,” he mused. “Hmm, Ralph was struck.”

“Struck?! There’s no blood on the teal!” Susan choked. “I suspected poison.”

“This isn’t a teal kitchen, Mrs Walker, remember? It’s Beach House – a type of green. Kitchen colours are important. And need I point out that these finishes? Covering board from high-quality FSC® and PEFC accredited forests, they wipe clean. Another Sigma 3 staple. Did Ralph have any enemies?”

“No, but he does have… business admirers. Those who want to part him from his fortune.”

“There’s a family fortune?” Chen’s eyes glimmered at Susan’s adult children.

“My parents’ finances are none of your concern,” the young man interjected suddenly. “Besides, Megan and I were with Mum at the butcher’s before we came here. Dad was browsing alone.”

“Monty’s telling the truth,” his sister added.

“Did Ralph routinely visit Sigma 3 Kitchens without company?” Chen was practically a basset hound in a sandstone trench coat, sniffing clues in the air. “Was he a regular here?”

“Not really. I typically pick our kitchens alone,” his wife noted. “High-quality Sigma 3 ones.” She gestured to the turquoise kitchen. “It’s why people think we have a fortune; we only have the best.”

“And did you pay a fortune?”

“Discussing money is vulgar.” Mrs Walker looked haughty… defensive. “But yes. This quality costs six figures.”

“Liar.” Chen’s spat the single syllable like a shotgun blast, causing Susan to bristle. “Mrs Walker. It seems I’ve already solved this case. You see, I believe you did this to Ralph.”

Kitchen Cupboard Bins

“You scoundrel! Have you gone doolally, old sport?!” Susan’s son exploded. “This is poppycock!”

“Monty, why are you talking weird?” his sister asked. “It’s 2024. You live in Newport.”

“Oh, sorry. Got carried away. But my point stands! There’s no clutter in this kitchen. Where’s Mum even supposed to hide a murder weapon? We could see her the whole time!”

“That’s a good question.” Chen grinned and slid open a base unit drawer. It was surprisingly deep. “It appears, like most people, you think a neat kitchen range couldn’t possibly have ample storage. Just look at that grey one there. You underrate, however, the power of its little grey cells.

“Similarly, take these LineaPlus cabinets. 600mm deep and extra wide with no centre post, they have 30% more capacity than the standard drawers on the market. By chance, this one does contain a rather lethal-looking saucepan, but I don’t believe your mother used it to club Ralph out of action.”

Susan looked mortified. Double-checking a pan drawer on a white range, she discovered it shared the same storage capacity, being far deeper than it appeared at first glance. “I didn’t do it!”

“Please, let me continue, Madam. All I’m saying is a colourful kitchen like this one must be minimalist to remain tasteful. That said, Sigma 3 ones offer style and substance; colour and clever storage.”

Addressing his jury, Chen approached a dark Madoc range and opened a set of bi-fold doors. “Item B: a Bar Dresser. Generous shelving, a wine glass rack, interior lighting – this clever kitchen storage solution can conceal anything – including toxic concoctions. Need a drink yet?”

“I’ll take a Long Island ice–” Monty began. Then, seeing his blue father, he paused. “Never mind.”

“Now, having shown Sigma 3 Kitchens’ remarkable storage solutions, here’s our principal clue: the weapon that struck ill-fated Ralph. It’s in these VelaBins.” Chen pointed for Susan to open a drawer. Doing so with ease, she exposed a double kitchen bin. The family gasped, and Chen raised an eyebrow: “You know what happened, too?”

“No,” Susan’s daughter Megan whispered. “But it’s so useful! I need a double kitchen bin. And a kitchen cupboard bin that hides in a cupboard is even better! It would pair so well with that pull-out larder or that kitchen pantry cupboard in the corner that holds an entire weekly shop.”

“Ah, you mean the SpaceTower – an incredible kitchen unit pull-out storage solution – and the Lansbury, the modern home’s walk-in pantry. Alas, I ramble. Let me enlighten you as to why these VelaBins solve the puzzle that lays before us… In short, their cabinet was ajar.”

“Ajar?” Monty frowned and glanced uneasily at Susan.

“Indeed.” Chen kept a tight-lipped smirk. “You may not have notice but when your mother opened this cabinet, it let out a soft clunk. That’s not a feature. On a typical day, these Blum runners are noiseless. The company even offers a lifetime guarantee; that’s how confident they are in their quality.

“This drawer, however, was ajar because someone slammed it quickly and, as a result, wedged something in the bin lid. That fell in when it opened. Please, Mrs Walker, see for yourself. Lift the lid.”

Susan did, raising a container out of its bracket. “It’s light but there’s definitely something in there.” Sliding it onto a counter, she opened the lid and pulled out a single item.

“What’s that, Mum?” Megan asked.

“It’s…” Susan frowned in confusion at a toffee-coloured book. “A luxury coffee table catalogue?”

“A Masterclass’s brochure, yes,” Chen explained. “Remember we couldn’t find one? I knew where it was the moment I arrived.”

The woman’s brow creased further. “But, Detective, you said Ralph was struck, and that I did it?”

“He was struck – by the quality. You admitted that you've previously come for your kitchens yourself. This time, you let poor Ralph come without warning. I can tell by his resting place on the worktop that he had his shock here, in front of the VelaBins. Here, he recoiled, aghast, scuffed his shoe on a tile – hence the mark and his loose sole – and tossed the brochure forward as he tripped, jamming the VelaBin closed. The momentum carried him onto the island. George will confirm, no doubt.”

“Who the devil is George?” Monty demanded.

“Your mother’s accomplice. George!”

The Kitchen Designer

Responding promptly, a man in a tweed suit emerged from the showroom’s main office. “Ah, Detective. Back again? Apologies, I was just on my lunch break. Can I be of service?”

“That’s alright, George. Your presence is enough. I presume you’ve spoken to this man?”

“I did indeed. Just put together a kitchen plan for him. Then I left him with a print-out of the breakdown.”

“And did he know the cost?”

“He would have once he read the breakdown.”

“And there it is – the shock. Mrs Walker, I knew you were lying when you said you paid a fortune for your previous kitchens. You see, Sigma 3 kitchens start from only £15,000. Despite looking like bespoke affairs, this luxury doesn’t cost six figures. It’s affordable.”

Wide eyed, Susan grabbed her chest. “Oh no! I did kill him after all!”

“Not necessarily.” Chen prodded the pale man on the island and, in response, Ralph moaned. “Mrs Walker, your husband is fine – just stunned. The only crime here is the unbeatable quality. At that price, it feels like theft.”

“Thank heavens he’s okay!” Ralph’s daughter rejoiced. Glancing at Susan, Megan added. “So, you and Dad don’t have a fortune? We thought you had millions!”

“I can explain.” Susan held her hands up in defence. “Though, I’ll need your father for that, Darling.”

“Open that slim MagnaSpace larder beside you,” Chen suggested helpfully. “There’s a spice rack inside with smelling salts you can use to wake him. Sigma 3's kitchens really do have everything.”

“Thank you, Detective.” Monty brightened, examining a teal tea towel that perfectly complemented its surroundings. “You’re a genius. While you’re here, I have just one last question… How can I get a blue-green kitchen?”

Pausing, Chen stifled a smile. “That’s a question for George. I solve crimes; he’s the maestro when it comes to turquoise kitchen cabinets.” Then, hearing a buzz, Chen’s reached for his phone. “Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s a woman unconscious in another showroom. The mysteries never end.”

* * *

Do your DIY kitchen plans resemble a crime scene, dear reader? Have you bought a teal microwave you love and don’t know how to create a matching kitchen that’ll remain stylish forevermore? Book a meeting with the team at your local Sigma 3 showroom. Or for extra inspiration:

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